Cowboy Take Me Away- Dixie Chicks

March 19, 2011

These times, they are a changing. It was a beautiful day outside today, and I am so glad that spring is hitting Boone (as much as it can). Light sweaters, flip flops, and shorts are going to be all the rage in the up coming week. And where will I be? Sporting a new hair cut by chance or maybe kicking it way old school (middle school to be exact) with a top row of braces. It's going to be a week of adjusting. Adjusting to the loss of hair, addition of metal, and hopefully, an acquisition of some self-confidence. I mean I'm going to need to dig deep and still be o.k. looking like I belong in pre-algebra and not Bio II.

Here's to change.

The song: Cowboy Take Me Away
So many things are right about this song. The voices, the instruments, the lyrics. What girl doesn't want to be transported to a land far away with the guy she's supposed to be with forever? I know I do! I have thought a lot about what that would be like, I think a lot of girls and women do. It's hard not to, it's like we're wired that way. And I don't think it's wrong to want those things. But it's hard not focusing on finding them.

I have been single for about a year now, I mean I haven't been involved with anything serious. It's a weird adjustment, and even weirder how not weird it is. I find missing things that I wasn't sure I would miss, I guess stuff I took for granted when I had a boyfriend. I miss the companionship of the whole thing. Having someone to tell everything to, and who actually kind of wanted to know all of it. Having someone to hang out with pretty much all the time. Having someone to plan the day, week, forever with. I think that's one of the weirdest things, not being sure about the future. I'm not saying that I had it all figured out when I was dating someone, but there was one less piece of the puzzle I had to work out. He was just there and was going to be for as long as forever lasted. Making those plans were easy and certain. Giving that up, was like giving up my future. It's hard to plan all that and then realize none of it is going to happen that way, at least in any way you imagined.

I have heard all of the cliches, "There's someone for everyone" or "It'll happen when you least expect it." Does that mean I have to stop wanting it to happen? I have to be totally fine thinking I'm going to be golden by myself? Do I have to convince myself it won't work out for it to come to fruition? I don't want that! I understand there is a contentedness in Him people need, and He is my number one, that's most of the reason I am single. We weren't good for my relationship with God. I want and hope that I am focusing on God and building a great relationship with Him. But I do want someone to love me in a tangible way. Lord, I hope You have someone out there for me. And that he is looking just as hard as I am.

Psalm: Nueve
David starts out real strong with this one. Thank goodness, I was getting tired of hearing how bad he has it. He offers up praises of how great God is, he seems to be genuinely happy to talk to Him. This goes all the way until verse twelve and then he starts being David again.

It kills me how much I am like David. He can see the greatness and beauty of God for like a split second and then lose it to what's in front of him. He goes from saying how amazing the Lord is, to reminding God that he has all these enemies that are after him. Geez, God, I am sorry that I do this. I make every conversation we have about me and what's going on with me. "Hey God, You're great, wonderful, beautiful! I can see you everywhere and You are the reason that I have a chance to experience today. Speaking of me, do You see how terrible my life is? School is lame, I'm fat, I have no direction, and I'm lonely. Me, Me, Me." I'm sorry, for real. You give me so much more a reason to sing Your name than need be, yet I still find time to plug my problems.

I know that You want to hear about my life, and those things that I am going through are things you care about, but I want our talks to be more than just about what I am unhappy with or need help with. You pour out blessings everywhere and I want to thank You for all of the great things that You, and only You have given me. I know that You're always there, but do I thank You? I know that You love me, but do I verbalize it to You enough? I know it's not about what I do or say, but I do appreciate You. I do want to know about You too.

Help me to stop monopolizing our conversations, God teach me to listen and be with You instead of just talking all the dang time.

Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, and you need only to be silent"

Cowboy Take Me Away