Be ready for a verbal up-chuck. God, I'm leaning on You for strength here, and I feel so weary. I know it'll be ok, but it's hard to see the end right now.
Up On A Mountain
Where to even begin? This week has been hard in a lot of different ways, and most of them are my fault. Procrastinating, not sleeping, and self-inflicted heart pains. This song isn't one that I have listened to a lot, but it was the one on my mind when I started writing today. I don't see it as a coincidence. The lyrics are wonderful and so helpful. The band is good and has a consistent sound, and I think the way they work with the lyrics is one of the most comforting things that the song has to offer.
In a nut shell, the song is about all the parts that make up our one God. Verse one, it's God talking and wanting us to stay with Him. Stay close and stay safe. Verse two, is Jesus carrying our burdens and descending from Heaven to save us. Verse three, is the Holy Spirit being with us and loving us. The whole song is telling of His love. He wants us safe, carries our burdens, and is with us all of the time.
I can't help but cry when I listen. Some of that may be because I am a girl and that's what we do, another reason is that realizing the love and sacrifice that He made is so intense, like actually acknowledging that He died for me, Annie-Grace Maria Shaffer. He suffered a painful death, a death reserved for criminals. And He did that so I would know that I am never alone, He did that so I know that He will never be far. He proved that with the Holy Spirit in my life. Working and comforting and convicting. And right now, it's the last verse that I want to replay over and over again.
"Up in the heavens our Lord prays for you
He sent his spirit to carry us through
So it's true that you're not alone
Do you know He came all the way down?"
I have a text message that I have deleted, stopped writing, or just have had just sitting on my screen waiting to be sent. I have been praying for strength to get through it, not over it. I need to know that I'm not alone. I want to be Yours, forever. I want to be with You, always. I need you, now more than ever.
A Plethora of Psalms
This will be the first time that I haven't used biblegateway.com to look up the Psalms. Look at me, using the actual book. I don't know why I thought that was important, but I felt like it was. Maybe having the Bible in my hands is a way to feel closer. Anyway, here we go.
Twenty:
David is writing this Psalm as a prayer for victory in battle. I think reading this now, definitely changes the way I want to look at it. I think a lot of time we pray for victories in our struggles. For a good grade on a test, for things to work out well, for a win in a game, for various different challenges. I also know that once those are accomplished, I am not as thankful as I should be, even in the smallest things. I was sitting at Belmont last weekend, watching the "best of the best showcase" and it hit me, there are so many talented people in the world.
That got me to thinking about the things I was good at, and I couldn't think of anything too impressive (this is not a dig at me, just what I was looking at). Now, I know that I have quirks and I know that I have them for a reason, my silliness is just a gift as the people who sang at the showcase. Then my mid wandered to, I wonder if they saw their talents as gifts or as rights. God, grants us all amazing things, and the most precious are the ones that are IN us. He gives us things so we can use them to glorify Him.
That's a big part of why God tries to make odds that look impossible. So when we are victorious, we give all the glory back to Him, and realize it was nothing we did. Verse seven says: Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
It's not what I do, it's what He does. It's not what I have accomplished, but the things He has worked through me.
Twenty-One:
This Psalm is the praise for a victory in the previous Psalm. Simply put this Psalm is acknowledging the "who" that was victorious. God was, is, and will always be the champion. And we get all of the perks of that. When Jesus died, He took all of our shame and ugliness, and we received all of His greatness. He substituted Himself, so that we could live, victorious.
"Be exalted, O Lord, In your strength; we will sing and praise your might." Psalm 21:13
Twenty-Two:
The first part of what David writes is pretty much how Christ died, which like I said earlier, a terrible way to die. In my study Bible, the theme of this Psalm is the depiction of God carrying us from great suffering to an even greater joy. Around the twenty-second verse, David switches gear. He starts talking about how he is going to tell everyone about how God saved him. My notes say that "David would praise God in the congregation because his private deliverance deserved public testimony. God wonderfully delivers us in quiet moments when we are hurting, and we must be prepared to offer public praise to his care."
I would have to say, that is what this blog is. A way to work through my personal struggles by writing, and a way of seeing where He is in all this. Where He's working and it gives me an opportunity to be glad at the end of all of it. I spend a lot of time wondering where He is, and going back and rereading what He has done and where He is speaking truths is so helpful.
To quote Bradley Hathaway "I praise you because you're different, and efficient." God, who else would pick as random of ways of talking to us as You do? It's so incredibly personal, and You know exactly how to do it. Thank You, so much for knowing me as well as You do.
Twenty-Three:
I couldn't think of a better way to end this post. It's hard times, and we all experience them. But He has not only already walked trough them, He is right there with me when I go through them too. It's hope we have, and security. My soul is safe because it's invested in the only One who can put death in its place. I will not be afraid, but confident.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his namesake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
So it's true that you're not alone
Do you know He came all the way down.
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